I Need a Break
So, what happened? I was exhausted and needed to take a break. I stopped myself, acknowledging that I was not entirely happy. I needed to take time away from all the noise. Initially, I had control of blogging but unexpectedly blogging began to take control of me. I needed to step away, so that is what happened.
Before asking myself why I wasn’t happy, I just needed time to strip my life back to basics, not thinking about anything. During this time, I switched the tv off and had time away from social media. I stepped away from being pulled in different directions. I began to enjoy the simplicities of life.
I do find it hard putting myself first because I am always looking out for other people. I am learning to dedicate some time for myself and not feeling guilty about it.
My son and I had many conversations over the summer holidays. He is getting older and is wanting to make sense out of his life, his ambitions. I discussed with him my struggles and aspirations. I continue to develop as a parent and adapt how I parent with my son as he grows.
He spoke about wanting to try out different sports, wanting to understand more about Italian culture, (he is half Italian), wanting “lads time” and developing his current interests. I have listened to him and will ensure that this happens. There are also hormonal changes happening to him, so I have to figure out ways to explain these changes to him in a way that he will understand.
As for myself, I aspire to write at least one fantasy book and a poetry book, as this is something that I will dedicate time to because it will make me happy. I genuinely love to write. It’s my birthday soon, and I am not getting any younger, so now is the time to chase my dreams.
We are a blended family, with my son living with me but stays with his dad one night a week and every other weekend. Both myself and my son’s dad have partners (who live in their own homes).
It is hard to juggle time around, ensuring everything is fair, but at the same time making sure that my son has familiarity and routine. Having to take him to appointments, youth and sports clubs, reading, spellings, and attending meetings to name but a few. That has always been my responsibility.
I have had to, over the years, change my working hours, change jobs due to lack of flexible working practices, or take a break from working to be there for my son and attend to his needs.
Now, with my son in his last year of primary school, upcoming health appointments, meetings and my son starting new sports clubs, the responsibility has to be shared. I think it was partly my fault as I never complained and got on with it. We are sharing getting our son to his sports clubs, and there is now more flexibility. It just takes the pressure off of me, and I won’t be overextending myself.
It is all about compromising, communicating and working together, so moving forward, I am so happy with how things are going.
Throughout blogging, I always get my son’s approval before finalising my content. It is important to me that he is comfortable with what I post, including the photos. Same with planning days out, my son is heavily involved, and his input is highly valued. I never dictate to him what to do. I am a spiritual soul and encourage him to express himself.
I will be continuing blogging; however, there will be a few changes. I will aim for my content to be published every Thursday. If not, then it will be every other Thursday. I am not going to put pressure on myself to post every week. I’d preferably post high-quality content than a half-hearted post on my blog. (Quality over quantity). I feel that this would be appreciated more.
I am not on every social media outlet as before. I have restricted this so that I can be more focused and remain on the path that I intended my blog to go. Furthermore, I have more time to interact with people and continue to develop my current social media outlets. You will get more out of me this way in general and in terms of creativity. I want to incorporate videos and new visuals on my social media too. Exciting times ahead!
We have a day out planned for my birthday, so will be writing about this later this month.
Thank you for understanding that I needed to take time away from blogging and online.
Let the positivity continue.